Managing Time
I haven't posted in nearly two weeks.
It's not from a lack of trying mind you. I have three other half-written posts sitting in "Drafts". The problem is that I haven't had the time to compete them.
That's what I keep on telling myself anyway. I'm currently on medical leave so it's not like I am working. I'm still quite immunocompromised so my activities with friends have been limited. Theoretically, my days are wide-open windows in which I can enrich myself intellectually, go on meditative walks, run dungeons and raids in Destiny 2, explore in Tears of the Kingdom, and code my own side projects to ensure that my skills don't atrophy.
Instead, I have barely done any of that. I barely reach my daily step goal, it takes me two months to read a book, I haven't logged onto Destiny 2 in several weeks, I only today reached the halfway point in TotK, and my git repo is barely more than a README.
What gives?
A part of the blame does go to the fact that I have cancer. Chemotherapy takes a lot out of me (hopefully "a lot" includes the damn cancer cells), and I have to spend a lot of time managing my fatigue. Some of that is direct management, like taking more naps. Others are more subtle. My normal walks are slower as I try not to push my body too hard, or I take more time sitting/idle instead of actively doing things.
The chemo also makes me immunocompromised. This means that when I go to places I try to walk there instead of taking the bus with strangers. Thanks to my catheter I'm currently forbidden from riding a bicycle.
If I'm feeling uncharitable I can put some of the blame on my visiting family, who have spent the time and money to stay in Berlin to take care of me. A lot of time is spent seeing them and doing activities with them. Even if it's something as quiet as having them over for dinner, it means that it's time spent being social instead of reading/writing/coding/gaming by myself. My solo habits do not mesh well with social obligations.
If I'm being honest with myself, it's because the unstructured parts of my day just mean that any idle time I have expands to fill up the day. I spend more time scrolling through my phone reading the news (everything is awful), hockey previews (the Ottawa Senators signing Ullmark to a pricey 4 year extension probably won't blow up in their faces unlike the prior two goalie extensions), other newsletters (Ed Zitron, Pragmmatic Engineer, etc), or getting into weird rabbit holes (did you know that there is a new HD standard for over-the-air TV broadcasts that supports 4K HDR called ATSC 3.0 which is an upgrade over ATSC 1.0 and that it weirdly has DRM even though it's OTA?).
Heck, even writing this really short blog post has taken me 4 hours. I meant to start at 2pm, but instead I procrastinated and played with the cat because she looked too relaxed in a sunbeam. After that I decided to clean up the apartment. At 3pm I decided that what I really needed was a change of scenery, so I went to a local cafe to work from. Once there I felt guilty writing the blog post so I started browsing LinkedIn and applying to jobs. When I pulled myself out of sending resumes and cover letters into the void I was able to crank another few sentences out before getting interrupted again, this time by my parents for help with their visa paperwork. Now fully out of the zone I decided to go "fuck it" and read about the potential breakup of Google (I'm for it, and Amazon/Microsoft/Meta/Apple/Salesforce should be sundered as well) for another 20 minutes before heading home
It's now 6:14pm and I'm here.
I know what the problem is. It's like the crows in the above comic. I spend too much time on things of dubious value instead of on more constructive forms of leisure. I also think I know how to fix this issue.
I need to give myself more structure, and hold myself accountable to it.
Giving myself structure isn't the same thing as saying "I will achieve these goals every day/week". Imposing goals without having a process puts me at the same level as C-suites in a company.
I want to be able to have a blog post twice per week, and meet my milestones for my side projects. I want to be able to go through one book per month, and finally reach the next objective in Zelda. Being able to say "I will do these things that I want to do" is easy to day. I need to make sure that I give myself dedicated periods of time to do those things, while also allocating time for social events and daily walks and daily naps.
It won't require a JIRA board, but it will require some project management. I'll break up my calendar into blocks, protecting my time for tasks. I'll mute my phone, or set screen-time limits so that way I cannot distract myself as easily.
I just beat chemotherapy. I can beat this too.